| "Hey its me... I have a update, one of my final updates. I've had a shitty month. Relatives die... My grandma is kicking me and my family out of the house. Just so my mom can stay sane... I dont know what to feel. Everytime I try and work so Hard. I watch it all crash and burn in a matter of seconds. The thing that hurts me the most. Is that all my promises wont work anymore. Neither will hers. I Love You Yentl, you know that. Not having the choice to be with you. The girl that can tell me she loves me and mean it. Is one of the only things that will ever hurt me. I'm supposed to move far far away. Means that most of our plans are gone. Can She Still Love Me? I dont want to go... I want to stay with her in our apartment. But I dont have a place of my own. And I dont want to lose her. And I just dont know if I will be happy ever... I get happy and its gone. I want to quit school... But I dont so I can get a better job. I want to challenge death... But I love her so much to do so. I want to marry her...But everytime I try till I cry. Something goes wrong. Thats my update folks. I will see you whenever I can. Love you Beautiful I love you so much " That is my boyfriends update on his myspace. I'm sad to much to say different words. I don't know what to do. This is something he can put on the net and not say to me. Knowing how much I love him and I would do anything for him. This is making me feel like there is a whole that is just getting bigger and bigger within me, and I don't like it at all. I want to talk to him about it but I know I will end up crying. Something I hate doing, but I end up doing it alot! He said he was moving minutes away not "far far far." We arugeed last night, and I heard him hurt him self, and there was nothing I could do. And there is nothing I can do now. I love him so much and all I can do is feel hopeless, and he doesn't know if he can feel at all. |
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| Finally someone out there knows what to think, and how to. I've been trying to find a friend who also thinks out of the box. It's amazing to finally have met that goal. I know there is more people who also think out of the box. I just have to find them. It's good to know im not alone on the outside box. |
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| I just messaged a guy named MisterEThoughts his profile is really cool. His thoughts are amazing. I think he will be great to get to know. I just hope I don't come off as a werido or a stalker type of person.
Because guess what I'm not. |
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